Forgive me Father, for I have sinned . . . (or so the blog-addicts say)

Finally!! a post!! (aka: random list of excuses & coping tactics)

Hola a mis queridos lectores pacientes,

pensaba escribiros en español para molestaros un poco, pero, es una mala idea. :-)

yah, so anyway, enough of that.

I've been *meaning* to write a blog for over . . . well, I guess a month now, it's been.
I feel REALLY bad that my good intentions have NEVER realized themselves. :-(

que malo amigo soy.

life has been good, but, similarly to you, very hectic as of late. Allow me to elaborate:

I had a good trip to NYC when I took the international students there for a 3 day weekend. The return trip was hampered slightly by the 5.5 hour stop-off in the Staten Island E.R., but, thankfully, she was not too serious and we arrived home at 4 a.m. the next day.

Then 2.5 days of crammed work so that I could entertain my grandmother and aunt (however, ever so happily done) during their 3.5 day visit. Their stay was AMAZING and we had a WONDERFUL time. It was truly a blessed trip because we had FANTASTIC weather, a bit chilly, but I've not seen the mountains so clear, so consistently, for quite some time. Grandma also got to see Shipshewana, IN (an Amish town) on the way down, and, returning home, they stopped near Cleveland to see her only living sister. She was very tired and slept quite a lot their first day home, but, for 92, it's amazing, nonetheless, that she made the trip and was able to do so much while here.

Next, back to work, where we've had a pre-registration period. I had duties as "big brother" with Sam (I volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters), and, of course, catch-up in classes from everything previously, currently, and preparations for the near future. The cycle never ends. Thank GOD for summers!!

I've been meaning, wanting and hoping to write you (since you've messaged and sounded down-and-out in your message - PLUS, just to inform you on things), but I've really only been home late at night, and that is usually with a stack of grading and/or tests to write. I do have a bit of personal time, usually after 10 pm. when I have/take a break to walk the dog in the 30-35 degree weather - that's fun!! ;-)

however, while laptops are portable, they're not *that* portable. So, this doesn't really ever seem to work out either. :-/

I hate that this blog seems like a bunch of inflated excuses, but it's really the truth and all that I have to offer for my lousy attempt at being a good blogger/friend/communicator. Yet, an attempt at self-defense, yesterday, I was AT work and fully occupied (except for 1 hour of aquaerobics) from 9:15-9:45 as in 12.5 hours, not 1/2 an hour. >8-D
then, today, i had to be back at 9 for a dept. meeting. now I have a small break before class so I decided to use part of it to give you a MUCH OVER DUE entry (aka: excuse list).

This Saturday, like the last, is going to be quite full as well, so I don't even seem to have my weekends to me any more. It's crazy. But, it's "Parents' Weekend" at work and so I have to come to the open house in the a.m. to meet those who care enough to check-up on their college students. After, I have agreed to help the Senior Class fund raise for their senior gift to the college. For $1 you can throw a whipped-cream pie at my face. Perhaps justifiable revenge for lack of blogging?

Onor near the same page, I know, from your communications (which is more than I've given you) that you've been a very busy beaver with work related things too. Yet, you can blog.

Now, I know what you might say, so, DON'T! It isn't enough that I'm busy and that I have these things going on, I could still take the time required for at MINIMUM a quick blog or blog comment of interest, wit, support, or encouragement. Yet, I haven't even taken the time to write you any typically harrassing commentary.

This can be explained as one of my biggest problems. Instead of just doing the minimal task as it arises, I accumulate several related tasks and say that I will do them all at once when I can take the time to deal with it properly and give it the attention that it deserves. THEN, as it grows, I say that I don't have the necessary time to do ALL of THAT right now, so I put it off until I can give it the time and attention that it deserves and do it properly (redundancy is for emphasis on true feelings toward said task). Before I know it, 2 weeks have passed and I've done nothing, THEN, in addition to the unfulfilled tasks, I feel guilty for the negligence.

Well, my "entry" is getting a bit too lengthy, which wouldn't really matter except that I'm running out of time before I have to go and teach. HOWEVER, I do want to make a suggestion or two or three or . . . , before I sign off (since I'm not really good at constant communications >:-)~ ), as to how you might deal with my infrequent entries
.
I'll enumerate them in hopes of getting them out in time, and being clear . . .

1) remember to breathe, seriously. It helps SO much. I remind myself often.

2) remember that I do care, & I am here; especially for the really important things. My phone number is the same.

3) exercise: I know that you've done it in the past, but I don't know about now. I walk with the dog, daily, at least a mile or 2. I've lost a bit of weight and feel better about myself, EVEN when I'm TOO tired and don't want to go, even when it's raining lightly and I HATE being wet. It makes a HUGE difference for her and for me.

4) water exercise: I don't know if it's an option or what the availability is, but I know that my twice weekly aquaerobics has an amazingly wonderful physical, emotional, and spiritual healing/renewal effect on me. From here we could get into the whole Freudian water/womb-mother/nurturing-safe place, but let's not just now. :-)

5) remember to breathe, seriously. It helps so much. I remind myself often and feel it's instantaneous calming/healing effects.

6) vent to me on email. Let me know what you REALLY think. who knows, it may just prompt me to blog in order to rectify the situation or to console you.

7) take time for yourself, REGARDLESS. I remember being at UAM and overwhelming myself and LITERALLY waking up short of breath, daily, and feeling as if there was an oppressive black cloud over my head and a weight on my chest. Simply rising from bed was a serious chore. FINALLY, after consultation about this with a colleague, who was looking equally as beleaguered, we determined the source, too much work, no "ME" time, AND we vowed to one another to hold ourselves to the oath that we would make Saturdays, "ME" days. It made a remarkable and immediate difference. I don't always get the entire day, but a portion of it, and I REFUSE to allow myself to feel guilty about it!!! I NEED IT!!! It makes me a better person, teacher, friend, being.

Just some ideas for now.

More later.

Gotta go harrass my class.

muchos besos y abrazos!!
--ch--